I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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