this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
