like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
