I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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