Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
