I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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