ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize