the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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