can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
