dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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