dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
