i wish peter jackson would direct porn
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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