Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
