No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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