glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
