Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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