he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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