I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're a waste of cheezeits
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
