Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
