That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
