Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize