Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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