love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
