So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
