I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
