i just wanna soil my oats bro
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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