My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
