I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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