We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
