You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
