You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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