I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
