Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
