Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
