Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
