You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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