Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I want her autograph on my taint
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
