I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize