Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
