i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
