I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
