ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
