After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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