$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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