Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize