god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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