We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You work out of a Hotel?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
