what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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