If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize