I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Randomize
