i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
