my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
