i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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