We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
