do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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