Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize