He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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