So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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