I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
