There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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