Nicole vs. Life
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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