first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
