Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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